Talking money of course!
A big reason why many couples argue about money involves differing values and conflicting goals which leads into a battle of; “I’m right … your wrong!”
Here’s why this happens: most couples do not have “Money Talks”. Sure they talk about money in varying degrees – but they don’t get into the ‘nitty gritty’ of their numbers and how the other person feels.
Let’s face it, when cashflow is good, money arguments usually are few – if any.
But when cashflow changes (usually due to less money coming in or expenses going up) that’s when the
“Money Shouts” happen. Maybe some of you can relate? (wink)
In my coaching I would say that most couples tend to want the same things but they have different attitudes about money. One of them likes the power and freedom to do what they want and the other; security and a plan is mandatory. One may not worry about money at all, believing that there will always be money, while the other is freaking out in “what if” scenarios!
It’s easy to put off the talk until ‘later’ or ‘some other time’ … you know sweeping the problem under the carpet and dealing with it later… but eventually that pile gets so high you trip and fall on it. In fact sometimes it is too late to even save the marriage (I’ve seen that too!).
The simple answer to this; you just really need a plan. I know that sounds ridiculously easy… and it can be. The problem is that for many of you, you don’t know how!
You’ve been ‘winging it’ through most of your life. If you are like me, money was never discussed in front of the kids. It was private and ‘none of your business’. Maybe you came from a family who never talked about money, or maybe there was only one parent who took care of the finances. Chances are that you either are playing the same role as your parents or the exact opposite with a rebel conviction; “I’m never going to be live like that!”
Please, get talking now, before the shouts. Schedule time to discuss your finances and your goals. Taking care of minor stresses and getting on the same page will help to avoid any problems becoming a major crisis.
I need to share a little tip with you first (before you have the conversation!); don’t have the ‘Money Talk’ when you just get home from work and you are tired and hungry. Don’t go to your partner all pissed off and snarky about money. That’s only going to get the other one defensive and really, make it worse.
You should talk about it when you are both relaxed and calm, the beginning of the month, before bills are due. Include all of the family (where appropriate). If you were never taught any money skills from your parents; break the cycle. Kids are like sponges soaking up everything you do – the good and the bad. Allow everyone to express feelings, wants and needs, without interruption or criticism. Family members or your partner are more likely to support a decision if they are included in the decision.
I love working with couples and getting them on the same page…with a plan!
I’ve been called a ‘money whisperer for couples’ by some clients. That works for me! (Helping others to have a better relationship with their partners (and money) is super rewarding to me.
Money is just a toll and energy to get what you really want and if you want to get their faster and with less stress, then call me!
If you are struggling and you knew how to get out of the stress then you would have.
Don’t waste any more time, life is to short to settle, give up or worse – break up.
First appointment is on me to see where you are at and give you some insight. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain because when you know better….you do better… period!
Click here and let’s talk. I’m ready – are you?
(And if you are single, being your own white knight and ahead of the game before you get into a relationship is the best way to go! We can build a plan for you too!)
(PS – Here are a couple of testimonials from couples that have worked with me ♥ )
My husband and I felt like there was a gap between how our financial institution was guiding us with plans like retirement, our monthly cash flow and other money issues- whether it was personal or business. We felt like we were being fit into a box that didn’t consider our individual details and specific needs. We have a large family and a business we are investing lots of time in so we can expand. Shari helped us set realistic goals to improve cash flow and grow our business. It was simple, effective and most important, it was fun. I loved the entire process and one highlight for me was exploring the money beliefs. ..incredibly powerful. A lot of choices make sense when you understand this concept. I love playing with Shari’s ideas of making money fun. We continue to implement what we have learned. When you leave you will find yourself saying, “Money , yeah I do that!” ~ R & R
After several years of consideration, my husband and I finally signed up for Shari’s money coaching program. My only regret is that we wasted so much time hesitating! It truly has transformed our lives. The nights lying awake stressing about money are behind us. We were able to uncover the behaviours and beliefs that led to our money challenges and implement a system to confidently manage our finances.
This was our goal signing up for the program, but what we really gained was far beyond our expectations. Shari helped to connect us to our dreams, and has set us on a course to achieving what is most important to us in life. There is no monetary value that can be placed on this type of learning. It has truly changed the trajectory of our lives and has set us on a course towards having the life we always wanted.
Shari is a compassionate, knowledgeable and inspiring mentor. We have and will continue to recommend Shari’s program to anyone wishing to change their life. ~ C & D
“My spouse and I met Shari at a women’s support event and life hasn’t been the same since. I would have never thought that such a casual meeting would have such a beneficial and profound effect on our lives. Even though we were making good money we were clearly not doing a good job looking after our finances. Living from payday to payday was causing a lot of anxiety for both of us. We agreed that we needed to hook up with someone like Shari who could walk us through our finances but I kept putting it off…
I didn’t want to have my spending wings clipped and I thought that was exactly what was going to happen. Nothing could have been further from the truth. After getting some coaching with Shari I am, for the first time in my adult life, financially anxiety free! I am beyond thrilled to finally have some tools to help me. Shari Molchan is amazing and she truly makes dealing with your money fun! Our debt load is quickly dropping, we almost have all our credit cards paid off and best of all we have money in our checking and savings accounts. Thank you.” ~ G & K